Our young people are in crisis. Everywhere you look there are problems with young people. Some would argue there always has been, it’s no doubt been an issue for every generation. But this time things seem different. Victorian-era parents weren’t concerned about the internet, social media, vaping, gaming, and so the list goes on, but they were worried about marrying their young girls off to the highest paid eligible bachelor. So there’s always been something. And then, like now, they knew they needed to be equipped to manage whatever came their way as loving mothers and fathers of their children.
Dr Jo Prendergast has a long pedigree in the area of parenting psychology. She’s a parent, and, one would presume, a pretty good one, what with the degrees and psychiatric training. One may be forgiven for thinking this is the valhalla of parenting how-to guides. And it has useful insights from start to finish - even if you have that quintessential situation of the eye-rolling, grunting response teenager.
The difference between the typical guide to parenting and this one is the unequalled style of Prendergast. Not only does she have the degrees to make the content of her book helpful, plausible, and effective, but she is also a recognisable name in the stand-up community of Christchurch - not something you normally conflate. However, it is definitely a quality addition to what is a pretty heavy subject.
The teenage years are turbulent times for parents as much as teens, but through being present, thoughtful and strategic in the way you parent that will assist any parent in being the best they can be in these challenging moments.
One of the great moments in the book is the concept explored of BAND-AID the dealings with big feelings:
Breathe and relax the body
Activities that you are good at
Nervous system shock
Document feelings
Actions that are productive
Imagery and imagination
Distraction
Sensations
These give individuals the opportunity to work through moments in logical, sensitive, and helpful ways. It’s little tips like this that calm the parasympathetic states and find a sense of equilibrium.
This book is such a gift for anyone in the throes, or about to enter, the world of the teenage hood with their children. It’s practical, funny, and super easy to follow. A highly recommended read!
Reviewer: Chris Reed
HarperCollins