A proud New Zealand-born Chinese accredited career, leadership and executive coach, Doris Sew Hoy is based in Surrey, UK and works globally either in person or online. She facilitates a deeper appreciation of your authentic self, with the mindset and behaviours to get what you want to have happen. She embraces diversity and inclusion, culturally and cognitively, with fairness and equality being her two core values. Doris talks to NZ Booklovers.
Tell us a little about Trust Yourself First.
This is my first published book, and it’s about cultivating trust in yourself and leadership. Having worked as an executive coach for over 20 years, I wanted to share my experience, research, tools, and key information that’s had the biggest impact with clients and myself. A key premise is when you know yourself more, you will trust yourself – and others - more.
What inspired you to write this book?
Two things in particular:
1) I’ve got two daughters in their early 20s and I wanted to write a book that they would find useful and illuminating as they start their working life. This is the kind of book I wished I could have read when I was starting out.
2) I’ve also been inspired by Clean Language, an approach and technique of enquiry, and the many tutors, mentors, and practitioners of Clean Language I’ve met from all around the world. I wanted more people to know about Clean Language and to give them a taste of how powerful it can be in everyday situations, from improving your listening skills to having better conversations and building more understanding relationships.
What research was involved?
I did quite a lot of secondary or desk research to back up my own model of trust. It’s crucial that the information I was providing was accurate, clearly referenced, and sources cited. For example, there’s a lot written about the science of the brain and body, and the interactions between neurology, psychology, and physiology. I wanted to distil the key relevant facts so readers could easily understand and appreciate why they might behave the way they do. I do this in Chapter 4, which is about what’s going on inside your body, especially when you get stressed.
I also did several interviews with key practitioners and researchers, listening out for their direct quotes, which I used in the book to bring the information and stories to life.
What was your routine or process when writing this book?
I began writing this book in earnest at the start of the lockdown due to Covid-19 as most of my work contracts had dried up. I signed up for a book writing course with Georgetown University in the US, zooming in each week for an hour. These weekly sessions gave me the discipline to work towards the goal of writing a first draft in five months. Once I hit that goal, I learned a key lesson: books are not written, they are rewritten! I spent another six months reworking and rewriting several more drafts. I was getting feedback from my editor and a small group of friends (my beta readers) who commented on each new draft chapter. It was also very helpful being part of a community of aspiring authors who were in the same boat as me. We were all working to a tight schedule and timeline.
If a soundtrack was made to accompany this book, name a song or two you would include.
The Long and Winding Road, by The Beatles.
True Colours, by Cindi Lauper.
What did you enjoy the most about writing this book?
I loved doing the primary research, interviewing published authors, researchers, scientists, Clean Language trainers and practitioners about their work, views, and experience.
I also found the process of getting feedback from beta readers and my editor very useful, and that made the rewriting and editing process enjoyable, despite feeling somewhat pressured to meet deadlines!
What are three key things you hope readers will take from Trust Yourself First?
1) I hope readers will take time to reflect on your life: where have you come from, where are you now, and where might you want to go next.
2) By becoming more knowledgeable and informed about why they might behave the way they do, especially when stressed, I hope readers are inspired and motivated to develop their strengths more (i.e. ways of behaving, thinking or feeling that feels authentic and energising for you). 3) I hope readers will try out some of the simple Clean Language questions in Chapter 6 and be inspired to learn more about how Clean Language can help to develop more trust in themselves and others.
What did you do to celebrate finishing this book?
It’s difficult to know when the book was “finished” as, although the book is published, there is a lot of continuing work to do with book marketing and publicity. I think when I got the green light on the final proof copy, I think I just breathed a big sigh of relief and went out to play some more golf!
Once I received a box of books from the printers, I did have a book launch party at my golf club to celebrate and thank all my supporters, friends, and family – a nice opportunity to sell a few more books too!
What is the favourite book you have read so far this year and why?
Birnam Wood, by Eleanor Catton.
I loved how Catton portrays the array of characters, with their inner thoughts and dialogue. I loved the humour, with the subtle and not-so-subtle inferences about the conflicting and diverse economic and political groups in contemporary New Zealand. I found myself laughing out loud as I was listening to the audiobook on my dog walks.
What’s next on the agenda for you?
Delivering interactive workshops and seminars online and in-person, based on key lessons from the book, as well as facilitating sessions to schools and community groups on how to have better conversations and build more trustworthy relationships with yourself and others.
I’m also hoping to try writing fiction next, possibly setting it around golf and goals.
New Degree Press