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Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody by Patrick Ness



Patrick Ness, celebrated author of A Monster Calls, ventures into middle-grade fiction with Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody, a vibrant, comedic, and thought-provoking story that combines sharp wit with a surprising depth of emotion. The book marks the beginning of a promising series set in a school for anthropomorphic animals, where monitor lizards Zeke, Daniel, and Alicia find themselves thrust into unexpected heroics as hall monitors.


The story opens with Principal Wombat assigning the trio their new roles, quickly deflecting assumptions about their species’ suitability for the job. But for Zeke, who already feels the weight of being "different" in a school dominated by mammals, this assignment exacerbates his challenges.


The school halls soon turn into a battlefield, with Zeke and his friends navigating power struggles with the flamboyantly menacing Pelicarnassus, a pelican with villainous ambitions that stretch far beyond typical playground antics.


Ness’ masterstroke lies in balancing absurdity with relatable emotional resonance. While the humour is often laugh-out-loud funny—ranging from Miel, the blind red-tailed hawk shouting cryptic wisdom, to the bizarre geopolitical subplot involving France on Zeke’s knee—the narrative doesn’t shy away from tackling weighty issues. Themes of bullying, grief, stereotyping, and mental health ripple through the storyline, offering young readers an empathetic lens to view the complexities of growing up.


Zeke is a beautifully layered protagonist: a kind but self-conscious lizard grappling with his mother's mental health struggles following his father’s death. His journey from reluctant hall monitor to reluctant hero is both humorous and poignant. His friendship with the fiercely loyal Alicia and the thoughtful Daniel offers a heartwarming counterbalance to the chaos of their school life.


The animal cast adds a quirky charm. Principal Wombat, with her “iron hard bum” (put to surprisingly strategic use), and a snarky pony teacher aide managing school supplies are standout side characters. Pelicarnassus, the school bully with a supervillain complex, is both comically over-the-top and a symbol of unchecked bravado masking deeper insecurities.


Tim Miller’s black-and-white illustrations are a delightful complement to the text, bringing the animal characters and their antics vividly to life. The visual elements enhance the book’s accessibility, making it an engaging read for younger audiences.

However, Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody is not without its quirks that may divide readers. The randomness of certain elements—such as the ongoing subplot involving France being represented on Zeke’s knee—may feel bewildering to some. Yet, these eccentricities are also emblematic of Ness’ willingness to push boundaries and trust in his audience’s imagination.


Overall, Ness delivers a story that is equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, and profoundly humane (even in a world of animals). While younger readers will revel in its zaniness, adults may find themselves unexpectedly moved by its exploration of resilience and self-acceptance. Chronicles of a Lizard Nobody is a triumphant start to a series that promises to offer both escapism and meaningful reflections. Bring on the next instalment!


Reviewer: Chris Reed

Walker Books


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